Despair and Hope

Listening to NPR's Morning Edition Sunday I first felt despair and then hope for the state of the world today. I'm feeling a lot of despair lately as I listen about all the politics going on over the national debt and budget. It all makes me so angry, I don't want to even think about it.

I started to feel down just listening about the politicians themselves. That's always bad enough.

But then there was a "man on the street" section from some place in Pennsylvania. The part that made me want to almost cry was listening to a woman who was described as starting a new career as a nurse. She said she was a Republican She thought there should be no tax increases for wealthy people because "why should they be punished after getting an education, working hard and then earning more money as a result of their hard work?" She said we should stop all foreign aid  because we don't need to send our money away when we have so many problems here of our own. She thought that unemployed people needed to get off their duffs and stop collecting unemployment and go out and just get jobs. About the only thing she didn't mention was the defense budget.

There was absolutely nothing unusual, creative or even interesting about what this woman had to say. I was so depressed, though, thinking again about how these views are held by so many  US citizens and how I don't see any evidence that US citizens are learning to think in a more sophisticated manner over time. In fact I think things are getting worse.

It was all so glib and just so ignorant of so many facts. Foreign aid, for example. It's a minuscule part of the US budget. We could zero it out and it would make no difference whatsoever. Ironically, soon after this story, there was another story all about the drought and famine in the horn of Africa, in Somalia and Kenya. Human suffering on a massive scale. I guess that we Americans don't care at all about that kind of thing. And of course, probably a fundamental reason this is all happening has a lot to do with global climate change .... something else we Americans don't care about either.

Then there is the bit about the wealthy in America. Did anybody hear the story about how Rupert Murdock's corporation has  a source of revenue from the US taxpayers? How we have been paying that organization an obscene amount of money year after year because of how the tax code works and because of all the loopholes the corporation can take advantage of?  What about the difference between the tax rate on the books and the actual amount of taxes that corporations  and wealthy people actually pay?  I could go on and on.

And the jobless sitting around just sponging off the rest of us on unemployment? Again, ironically, in the same story there was a second man on the street who was a long term unemployed factory worker. Does anybody pay attention to the fact that the candidate Mr. Romney got his wealth by buying up and restructuring companies and in the process putting huge numbers of American workers of all kinds out of work? What about the fact that the actual historical data do not support the theory of trickle down economics? It's been disproved over and over again, and yet it seems to have nearly Biblical importance because President Reagan believed it. But I don't see any evidence that Republicans have any other ideas to offer us.

All of these beliefs and attitudes , aka the mainstream culture in the US, can make me feel despair. What can I do to help to change peoples' minds? The issue is just too big.

But I kept listening and ended the morning  with a glimmer of hope because of this story:

http://www.npr.org/2011/07/17/137680605/making-cutting-edge-animation-on-a-diy-homestead

It's a story about a group of young people homesteading, creating a kind of hobbit village, and making their living by doing really high tech animation. This a a quotation that  makes me feel good:

"We could certainly be maximizing our potential to make money right now but that would hinder and slow down the development of this neighborhood that we're building and world take us on the road to possibly and empty existence."

Because there are young people, especially young people who are cultural leaders like these,  who really think this way and who walk the talk, I begin to think that maybe we do have some hope after all.

And then there is this news story:
Young tech millionaires keeping 1 bedroom lifestyle which is about how many very famous young millionaires are not leading lives full of consumption. They want to make the world a better place with their money. Several said they have a goal to give away all their money within their own lifetime.

Maybe there is hope in the world.

Long term travel?

Last Sunday was a day off. I accomplished virtually nothing. I had a headache most of the day that just won't go away. It's not a really bad one, just enough so that I was always noticing it and always not feeling good.

I did a lot of lying around and listening to the Anthony Bourdain marathon on TV. I hadn't seen any of the shows  because I don't get the cable TV in Salt Lake.

You may have noticed how I have a whole pile of travel blogs that I subscribe to (see the list at the right). I read these and others that are linked to these. My favorite kind of book to read is a travel narrative. I like to read about other people's traveling, and I like to think about my own traveling.

Maybe it was always so, but what with the big, big world of blogging, it seems like every 4th person is now doing long term traveling. I do notice that many of the travel bloggers tell us that they began with being dissatisfied and unhappy working in the corporate world. Many are single, but there certainly are couples and families in the mix. I get the impression that most are middle class and are generally well educated. Most are white. Most are younger than I am by decades.

I am fascinated with the idea of long term travel, but the question I keep asking is, do I really want to do that? I think that obviously if I am still uncertain about the answer to that question, then the answer right now is "no."

Here are some things I do know. I don't want to just travel around constantly, trying to see or do everything that must be done or seen in a given place. I don't want to be constantly on the move. I also don't care about visiting every place there is to visit. I don't really want to be very uncomfortable or in danger with any regularity. I want the ability to have days like Sunday when I need them, days where I just stay put in my room and do nothing much. I don't want to feel guilty about that; if I need a day "in", I need a day "in" and it's not something that I "wasted".

I do want to learn about other people and places. I would like to go someplace and then find an apartment or something so I could just live there awhile and get to know what it's like to live there, not just visit.

I don't want to give up my summer place. If I were to hit the road, I would get rid of the city apartment and do something about all the things there, but I would simply shut and lock the door here in the condo and then continue to pay the mortgage and electric bill.

It looks like most of the travelers who blog did have a fairly long period  of planning before they hit the road. I think most planned for at least a year. It doesn't look like most people just woke up one day, said "I quit" and then left by the end of the week. That's comforting. I'm a major planner. I can take my time to really think about this.

At this stage of my life, it would probably be best just to wait things out and get to retirement age. Then I would have health insurance and an income and could feel more secure about going some place for the sake of going some place. I just need to be patient.

I'm going to get New Kitty in a little while. That will keep me at home for several years. So for the moment, I'll continue to just read and think about long term travel. Maybe I will do that someday. But not now. And that's just fine. I'm not running away from anything. I'm actually quite contented with how my life is going these days. I'll stick around in it for awhile longer.

Patriotism

I don't know how to be patriotic.

Let's be clear that I am very happy that I was born a citizen of the USA. I wouldn't want to give that up, ever. I could see having a secondary citizenship ... Canadian, Swedish, Finnish, maybe French ... but I would never want to forfeit my US passport.

I love the land in the US. Nothing beats that. And I love my fellow citizens and residents as a whole, even though many of them as individuals  drive me totally batty. We are a kind of a big, sort of dysfunctional family, after all. In a family you take the good and bad together and make the best of it.

I guess that all that adds up to the fact that I do love my country. But the expression of this feeling ... that's where I get lost.

As I have seen it for many years, the way to be patriotic has been co-opted to mean one way only, the flag waving, USA #1, red white and blue style epitomized at the moment by Sarah Palin, tea party members and Republican politicians. You know, the ones that made a mountain of the molehill of Barack Obama not wearing a flag lapel pin back in the day. I'm not like this and more importantly, I don't want to be like this.

 I know how to do this kind of patriotism. I was taught it deliberately when I was growing up. My hometown was an industrial town in the Midwest, and my parents were the kids of 1st generation immigrants. They were kids during the depression and came of age during WW II. I'm not at all surprised that the usual kind of patriotism was their style of patriotism.

I didn't grow up learning Bible stuff, but isn't it a Bible verse that says something like "when I was a child, I spoke like a child and acted like a child, but now I am an adult and I speak like an adult and act like an adult"?  Well that's how it went for me.

I still don't understand how my parents could have produced me. In the end we thought so differently about the world. Clearly they must have valued freedom of thought because that's what they did give to me. Somewhere along the line as I was growing more into adulthood, I abandoned the usual style of patriotism (and a whole lot of other stuff too).

I joined the Navy while I was in college, but even by then I was thinking differently. And I found that the Navy was really OK with my way of thinking about patriotism. As long as I did my job and pretty much followed the rules, the Navy didn't care whether I waved the flag or not. Now it's kind of cool to be a veteran, and I have no trouble telling people about this stage of my life.

But I still can't act patriotic in the usual kind of way. It's just not authentic to me. If I do the motions, it's just an act.

But what's the alternative? That's the question. I haven't figured that out, and I've been working on it for years.

I keep hearing news stories about how aging Baby Boomers are getting to be more and more conservative and traditionally patriotic  lately. Every time I hear that, I want to yell out NOOOOOOOO! NOT ME! But I look like my peers who are, so they say, becoming this way. People might could mistake me for one of my conservative, tea party peers. Perhaps I need to get a peace sign tattooed onto one side of my neck and the woman's equality symbol on the other. Maybe a little rainbow on my forehead would be good too.

Maybe I should go back to wearing long skirts and embroidered peasant blouse made in India. Grow my hair into whatever kind of braid it will still grow. Wear Brike's ALL the time. Honestly I would much rather be stereotyped as an aging hippie than a tea party member.

I was never a real hippie. Give me a break. During the summer of love I was a high school girl in the Midwest who loved her parents. I worked that summer at a local hospital as a nurse aide because I needed the money and I wanted to become a nurse.

But the hippie culture spoke to me and in my way I was a hippie. Hippie values ... peace, love and understanding ... came easily to me. As soon as I discovered the idea of modern feminism, that was it ... that's where I was.  Following close behind were the ideas of being a World Citizen and caring about the health of Mother Earth. That's where I have been ever since.

 I'm a proud tree-hugging, feminist, world citizen. But didn't others like me develop inside the American culture? Didn't this free country of ours enable us to exist in the first place? So how does a person like me (and my value peers)  act patriotically in the present US?

On my last trip to Europe, when I was in the passport line back in the US after a really LONG day of travel, one of the employees said to all of us in the US passport holders' line,  just "welcome home." I started to cry. That was a moment when I felt truly patriotic ... when I was home again in the place where I belonged.

America, love it and change it. I guess that's the road I have to take.

July

I hate July.

July is the heart of summer. I do not like summer very much at all. Everyone else in the world seems to love summer. Not me.

I suppose I would feel differently if I lived in someplace like Barrow Alaska or Archangel Russia, but I don't and probably never will.

I hate being hot. I do not think I would like to live in any place that is tropical or warm most of the time ... that cuts out large chunks of the world. There are a whole lot of places in the world that I do not want to even visit because of the heat. I know, for example, that India is a fascinating place. I'm fine with reading stories and looking at pictures taken by other people.

I do not like my summer clothes. Seeing as how I have no need to get dressed up during most of the summer (sometimes all of it) I just wear tee shirts all summer long. I'm real tired of tee shirts. I don't like short sleeved woven shirts either ... they need ironing to look nice and who wants to iron when it's so hot in the summer?

There's too much light too much of the day in July. You have to be too careful about being outside in the sun in July. Sunburn happens to me too easily, but preventing sunburn makes me hot and sticky.  It's difficult to see during the day in the bright sunlight. I need dark glasses AND a hat with a brim during the day in July in order to be able to see well enough.

Independence Day is not my favorite holiday.

July is just something that needs to be endured.

I don't really wish for a life with less time in it, but I could do without July.

Musings

I just got back from a trip to my hometown. I'm trying to contemplate the whole thing. I may have more to say about the whole of it later. But right now, here's a list of this and that.

 An employee was offering samples of wine to shoppers in the morning in a supermarket. I've been in Utah too long.

Why does my back instantly ache just by sitting in the car? Does it have a memory of long hours of driving?

The Missouri River was amazingly high. There were lakes in people's yards in the Green Bay area. The Mississippi was high too but not as bad as the Missouri.

I saw a boy about age 10 dressed perfectly in the style of a 1960's dad. He had the glasses, madras shorts, polo shirt and the HAT that was just perfect. My friend says I'm behind the times. I think this is old fashioned. She said it's now the real cool look for kids. Must be the influence of "Mad Men." Do 10 year boys watch and like "Mad Men?"

Woman taking a photo at a rest stop in South Dakota .... a very tall & skinny guy next to a sign that says "Watch for Rattlesnakes".

In Wisconsin weather forecast speak, there were supposedly "scattered showers" which I experienced as "hurricane style deluge." I wonder if this has anything to do with state government austerity measures.

There were signs on the rest stop doors in Minnesota warning that if the state government would shut down at the end of June, the facilities would be closed and "sorry for the inconvienience."

I prefer the way TV shows get scheduled in the Mountain time zone as compared to the Central one.

In general purpose restaurants in the midwest, vegetarian pretty much = pasta with an all vegetable sauce.

Sometimes you just have to buy something that comes in a beautiful package.

Silver and Gold: Two Good Friends

I want to tell you about some friends of mine who I admire a great deal. I won't tell you the names or show pictures because I'm think there are possibilities that what my friends have told me might of might not be known by their employers.

First is my friend "Dee" who calls me her sister. If you saw us together, you would know that is impossible, but I also consider Dee to be my sister. We have moved to different parts of the country since we first met, and we don't talk that often. But when we do, time and space are of no consequence. We're still sisters and always will be.

Dee works in health care and has a very good job that pays pretty well. She loves working in our field and is so good at it. I was impressed with her skills  from the very first time I ever saw her. But she is thinking about quitting her present job because in many ways she is no longer happy doing what she is doing. She said over and over again as we talked, "I just want to be happy with what I am doing."

She has taken the initiative and enrolled in a  school near to where she lives to study something that she has wanted to do for a long time. I imagine it is expensive because this is a private school that gives advanced degrees. And probably she won't make any money as a result of her studies. But she just wants to learn about the things she is learning about which makes her happy.

Dee always has lived very simply. She shops regularly at the Salvation Army and the like. She lives in a small apartment with just the basic furnishings. She has enough money to live "better" but she chooses to give a lot of money away to something that is very important to her.  (Something that I also think is a "good cause;" she's not giving her money to some guru or anything but to a legitimate organization that does good work in the world. Her family also benefits from her largess)

Now she is probably going to give up her apartment and move into student housing at her school which will be less expensive and simpler even than her little apartment. I have a feeling that giving up her job may come next. How will she support herself? Not sure, but I know she will manage somehow.

Dee wants to use her new education to help her change careers somewhat. She says she thinks that she should change directions at this stage of her life and work directly with youth who have problems. This might be more like social work that direct health care, but that's ok, she'll be able to do it.

I admire her so much because of how she lives her life. Her life is one of the purest expression of values that I have ever seen. I admire her ability to figure out the minimum amount of money she needs for herself and then to give the rest away. I admire her to figure out what her dreams really are and then to do something actual about them. I admire her courage to follow her dreams. I admire her wonderful sense of humor. I admire her loyalty. I love her so much and feel so blessed that she is a part of my life, now and forever.

Next is my friend "Sue" whom I met only a few years ago where I live now. She was a friend or a friend of a friend at first but now she is my friend directly. She also works in health care, but I do not know her from work. She talks about her work a little from time to time, but I don't know too much about it.

Sue is married to someone who seems like her soulmate. They fit together so well and think alike on so many things. They are, like me, getting close to where they can retire, and are making plans for that.

Sue and her husband are planning on retiring someplace abroad, probably in Central or South America. Husband is aggressively learning Spanish. They want to move someplace where they will be able to be of service to their new neighbors.

They live very simply here in the US. They have a small home that is simple but very nicely furnished (thanks IKEA!). They eat vegetarian, don't drink any longer and have a spiritual practice. They are saving up money for annual travel and for when they will move finally.

I admire Sue because of the way she lives her values. She is clear about what's important to her, but never imposes them upon anyone else.  She has a terrific sense of humor and fun. She is joy to be around. She knows how to make and keep close friends. I trust that even after we both move in different directions, that she will be my friend forever.

Now that I have written this, I know I have many other people whom I need to write about. I'll keep doing this. It makes me smile a whole lot.

Deciding What to Keep

I'm now in my permanent home, a beautiful converted school room in an old school building. I only live here part of the year now. It's my intention that I will keep this place for a long time. It's only 700 square feet which is plenty. I keep things here that I intend to hang onto for a long time.

I think of this place as being a simple living space, but it is not minimal. It would make a minimalist blanche. I wouldn't say you were wrong if you said it was all cluttered.

Every time I arrive here for awhile I go at it, moving things around, cleaning out spaces, deciding about things to keep and things to give away. Today I went crazy with the books.

I have a lot of books. Hundreds. I love books. But I have been constantly acquiring and getting rid of books ever since I was a kid. If I still had all the books I have ever owned, I would need a whole library building for them.

I am buying a whole lot fewer physical books now since I got my iPad. This is a miracle for me. I can still have tons of books, but they take up no space.

I decided, however, that as long as I do have the shelf space for them, I can keep as many books as I have room for. I still have some books in Salt Lake, most of which will probably end up here, so I was keeping this in mind today. I know I will have to do this task again, probably more than once. That's ok. I got a pretty good start today.

I also selected out several other things to give away too. I have the biggest problem with gifts. I hate to get rid of gifts because they were gifts. But I decided that I just can't let myself be burdened long term with gifts. Everything I'm giving away now I have kept for a respectable amount of time. People probably don't even remember they gave me these things. So I am lightening my burden a bit. Here's my pile of stuff to giveaway ... so far. I will keep going all summer with the assessment of what to keep.

Today I had to catch up with reading my favorite blogs. One writer, a radical minimalist, wrote about how giving up art is a good way to go which made me wonder about my attachment to art. But then two others said things like

"If you look to the lives of others, you will always find yourself lacking. Look instead at what you have and be grateful. Reduce your needs and be content." Leo Babauta: http://zenhabits.net/

"I realize it's not about having as little as possible, at least not for me, it's more about owing the things that truly matter." Henri: http://www.thesimplerlife.net/

I know I am content here, in my cluttered place. It's full of things I find beautiful and useful. I'm just not a minimal kind of gal.