Jul 2015 - NOT a Blue Christmas for the Blue Lady

SLC is cooperating this year by having a
white Christmas.

Smokey Rose looks just right in
Christmas mode

Smokey Rose and I will be together this holiday weekend. I won't be going out to any gatherings or events. It may snow. It may not. Doesn't matter. We'll be all cozy and happy together.

This is the first Jul where I have not spent at least part of one day at some kind of gathering with others. This year that just did not work out (unless I had decided to travel to Illinois. But I swore off that in 2008 because of the difficulty of travel at this time of year. Maybe some year in the future, I'll be up to it especially if there is a special occasion besides the holidays.)

I had some plans to have a dinner on Dec 25 with my friend Jan here in SLC, but things happened in her family, and she had to go off to Seattle to spend time with her daughter. I thought about what to do and decided that I was just fine with being alone in my home with Smokey Rose.

I decided that if I were going to be at some kind of gathering, I really did not want to be the orphan guest that gets invited to a family party just so as to not be alone. I've done that a few times now for Thanksgiving, and, to tell the truth, I haven't really enjoyed the experience all that much. The food has been good, and that's fine. But it's difficult for introverted me to do anything much other than sit in a corner and listen to what everyone else says, all the while I wish I could be home knitting or reading or cuddling with my kitty.

If I am going to be with people, then I want to be with my family or one or more of my really long time close friends ( I won't name names other than Janice in Rockford, but others.... if you are reading this you probably know who you are.) I especially don't want to be with people whom I have never met.

I do not feel sorry for myself and I certainly do not feel lonely. Actually I never feel lonely. People confuse being alone with feeling lonely. They are not the same thing at all. I am very aware nearly all the time that my life is a blessed one. I suffer from a syndrome they identified in Germany - acute despair deficit syndrome (think about it.) Just listen to any news cast, and it's clear that I have no cause whatsoever to complain about anything. Lots of people (and everyone important to me) knows where I am and what I am doing, so I feel very safe.

So how will we spend our days? Well, my tiny house is kind of decorated.

Jeanne & Andy gave me my Jul wreath again this year.
It smells lovely because it is real.

Thanks to IKEA I have a tiny "tree" decorated with special
Jul ornaments.

I have a little bitty forest of Swedish trees.

I just put the ingredients for baked rice pudding into the crock pot. This is an experiment with no recipe. May or may not be a success. Next I'll go peel some root veggies and get them ready for roasting. I have a little duck breast for which I will make a simple cherry sauce. I've got a nice bottle of pinot noir. And plenty for dessert.

Mrs. Backers makes spritz cookies ALMOST as good as Mom's.
I just do not want to take the trouble to make them,
so ALMOST will do.

Every year I look for special holiday ice cream treats in the grocery store. We always used to be able to have little green colored trees, or pink and white Santa's, or the best of all, coconut snowballs with plastic holly and a candle on top. But I have not found those things for many years. Either they don't sell them out here in the west, or they just aren't made any more. (Opinions? Knowledge?)

I'll open these Jul Eve, the Swedish way.

I don't need gifts any more, but I still really like giving and sending things. Pretty much everything goes and comes via the mail.

I would not like it at all if the gifts stopped. Nothing is expensive or even takes that much thought sometimes. A lot of food goes back and forth. I sent gift cards to some the family, mostly for food from fancy stores.

But I really just like the fact that I am remembered. If I thought I were forgotten by the world or by people I know, that would make me sad and lonely. Small gifts are just token that represent the fact that I do still matter to many people. I do appreciate that so much.

So once the food is in the oven, I'll go get cleaned up and will wear some combination of the clothes I got last year for holiday wearing.

I'll light my "fireplace" and serve myself a fine dinner. Smokey Rose will have to make do with her prescription food as usual, but she does not seem to feel deprived. She was never taught that people food was something that cats might like.

My "fireplace". Well it is a place where I make real fires on things.

After supper I will clean up and then settle down to open gifts and listen to music and maybe knit afterwards. Or watch a video or something on TV. Or read. Or snuggle with Smokey Rose.

Tomorrow we will have a lovely breakfast with the coffee cake I bought as a gift to myself and plenty of coffee. Then....who knows? But whatever we do it will be something that makes us happy together.

Found this at the Corner Bakery.
Already ate the tiny cheesecake.

Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night!